Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Your Gmail Inbox Is Running Slow. Do These Things to Fix It - WIRED

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

You hold the door open for a lady and she stops in her tracks and screams at you, ‘Don’t hold the door for me! I’ll get it myself!’ What are your feelings or immediate reaction?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Craig Breslow Discusses Red Sox’ Struggles, Future Plans - MLB Trade Rumors

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Scientists Successfully Simulate Bizarre Phenomenon Where "Light Appears to be Generated from Darkness - The Debrief

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Have you ever accidentally found out that you were about to be fired?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is Prince Harry being fired by BetterUp CEO Alexi Robichaux, and what role did Marc Benioff’s decision to pull sponsorship play in this?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Baby saved by gene-editing therapy 'graduates' from hospital, goes home - ABC News

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Measles vaccinations drop as CDC updates travel guidance - Yahoo

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

What would happen if the Earth stopped spinning for one minute?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why does the UK Labour MP Jess Philips seem to be such a divisive figure?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

These stocks are overbought after a strong May for Wall Street and could be due for a pullback - CNBC

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Chinese EV Makers Pull Away From Tesla With Sales Gains - Barron's

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Galaxy Watch could automatically lock your phone when it's left behind - SamMobile

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Jamie Dimon says he wouldn't count on China folding under Trump's tariffs: 'They're not scared, folks.' - Business Insider

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is